I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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