I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
