in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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