I hope mine doesn't look like that
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
