He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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