we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
