But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
