Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
