o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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