it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
