TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
