i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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