It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
