My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
