Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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