this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
