I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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