He had one of those small greek statue penises
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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