If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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