Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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