I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
