Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Life is so much better after having sex.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
