My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
