i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
