he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
