after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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