I am in a vortex of obligation.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
smell my finger.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
