Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
