It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
