what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
