If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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