Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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