Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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