do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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