Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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