I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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