Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Michael Bay diarrhea
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
