just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
