You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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