rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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