Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
