I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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