how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Holy sore nipples Batman
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
