I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
