the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize