i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
