He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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