She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
