He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
