My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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