I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
