Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
