How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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